A little bit of Heaven ~


January 24, 2014

Today is Friday & as I should probably be taking the time to work all day, I decided to hold Kenli on the couch as she fell asleep and choose a Netflix movie.

I went up & down and tried to pick….really wanted to watch Dear Jon, but it was NOT FOUND..

So, Romantic Comedies it was…..first move I grabbed & didn’t read about it first. I had no clue what I was getting into, but so glad I chose it!

A Little Bit of Heaven

Let’s just say I mumbled to myself at the end of the movie…”This is the worst movie ever” as I was bawling with tears flowing down my cheeks.

But, really this movie was perfect.

If you have seen it, you know what I am talking about. It is horrible: horribly sad: mind-opening: tearful: funny: loving: attention getting: GOD

If you have NOT seen it…take the time to watch it! Maybe alone with a pad of paper so you can take some notes……we all need to take notes from movies like these!

I immediately jumped on my blog. Why? I want this new blog/this personal area to be of use. I want YOU to read it and WANT to read it….not just skim through it.  I want it to be useful to you and purposeful to your daily life.  I want feedback and I want to know your stories!

So after the movie..I sat on the couch as I heard the wind blowing so hard on my living room windows.  Wiping the still falling tears from my eyes, I sat there holding my 14 month old while she sleeps so peacefully.  A little girl who does not even have a care in the world. And why should she? I wish I could live like that my whole life and then meet GOD and say everything was perfect!  In a way: a small way: I wish this…but I love my life, I just want to love it & live it more.  This movie gave me all reasons to do so. Not because she had cancer and passed away, but because it showed so many outlooks on life and it gave purpose on why we are living. Why are we here?  To do what? Why are you here?

After 30 years, I can say I know why I am here, but have I lived the life that I should? Have I truly lived the way I should every single day? I know, not one single person is perfect: you can’t live a perfect life: you never will.  I don’t want to be perfect: nor do I strive to be perfect.  But, I do strive to be GOOD….to be purposeful to the people around me: my family: my friends: my children: MY LORD….

I strive to take everyday with reason & love…but that does not always happen.  So, my question is how do you wake up every single morning and have complete JOY?  How do you live without fear? How do you stay calm through trials? How do you not shed a tear through tribulations or circumstances?

Complete JOY isn’t something you wake up with….JOY comes from having faith, a strong faith in the Lord. Not being fearful comes from believing & trusting in the Lord.  But crying & showing emotion is life: it is natural: healing.  I want to live a JOYFUL life with a fearless heart.  I want a GOD filled heart full of love & trust.

I love being able to sit down and watch a movie and shed light on it. I love being able to write & talk even if I don’t make any sense at all.  Releasing emotion & feeling is natural: it is showing purpose & love.  Everyday doesn’t come everyday for many people.  Tomorrow may not come for many people.  You hear it all the time, “Live today as if it is your last.”  How hard is that right? Be happy..don’t argue with the ones you love..make the right decision..don’t do this: don’t do that…Again, we are NOT perfect.

I always wonder…How do you life a NoN-PerFect life if everyone expects everyone to BE perfect?? And why do we care so much about what the person sitting next to you at the airport is doing or the person behind you in line at the grocery thinks of your outfit? Why do we care what a young couple at the movies on a Friday night thinks of an elderly couple at a movie on a Friday night?  Why do we wonder how much money someone else has or how they have it? Why do we care if we can’t do as many burpees as the “fit chic” that shows off at the gym?  😉  Why do we judge the fit chic who worked her booty off to get in shape? Why do we judge the person that can afford to buy a nice home & drive a great car? Why do we judge the person that works late & doesn’t spend time with their family? Why do we judge the person that that wears clothes we may not choose to wear?  Why do we spend so much time every single day caring & judging??? Why do we spend so much time feeding into other people? Why do we waste all of this time giving others attention that at the end of the day, quite frankly, does NOT mean diddly squat??

Our time: Our care: Our judgement is for GOD

-He is the only one that can Judge us-

That is why this movie pulled me in so far. I sat there realizing so much.  Am I pleasing GOD? Are my words & actions pleasing him?  I can’t please all my friends…I can’t make my entire family happy. I drive people nuts! I am sure I talk to loud for most people or get too excited sometimes that people “judge” me for my loud voice. I am sure I work too much that my husband wants to crash my computer.  I know Cason thinks I am not so nice all the time.  I am sure I say things that hurt the feelings of others even if I do not mean to. I know I don’t always make the right decision or say the right thing…but, I do know I care & I do know I am a GOOD person, so why do I care so much about the thoughts & big bubbles over everyone else’s heads when they are around me? What they think should not make me spend my time wondering. My JOY should let me overcome my fearful thoughts of what their minds think of me, right? That is easy..right?

The fact of the matter is that…I do care, I always will care. But, I try to care in a different light: different way: with GOD before me: above me: guiding me: holding my hand: judging me & me making the right choice not to make someone else happy, but to make him happy…..to make sure he approves.

I guess the movie took a little weight off my shoulders.  Time is priceless. Time is something we can’t get back. It shouldn’t take a life changing event for your friends or family to know you love them and care deeply about them.  They should know already & if you have any slight wonder in your mind that they don’t know, then you should call them & tell them.   Maybe go see them: hug them.

Tomorrow may come: Tomorrow may not

Be fearless & purposeful…MAKE EACH DAY COUNT

Love one another and take time for the most important person….GOD

  1. Marybeth says:

    This brought tears to my eyes, and filled my heart with overflowing joy that you GET it! At your young age, you GET it. And you have a long life ahead of your to SHARE it with others. God Bless you Jenn. Share the joy that only our Lord can bring us.

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